Family:problem?

It never crossed my mind at all that I'd be tested with such a problem with my family.
No it's not an external problems where you have always caught in dramas or movies such as a big fight between parents and children,teenagers fleeing from house and whatnot.

This is about internal conflicts.Between my siblings and my mom.

My mom has been a stern and keeping the habit of nagging to her children for years.
She even did that to my late daddy.Nagging has becAme part of herself.
It's not always a constructive-type of nagging,but it's a stressful ones.Moreover,most of us have turned into adults already,except me,where I'm still a 20 y/o girl,but ahh only a year to legalise me as an adult according to the Law of Malaysia.Ok2 the point is,all of us are grown ups.We become stress more easily and we certainly abhor to be treated like a child,toddler,kids and anything pertaining to that.

Instead,Grown ups like us prefer to sit down,and talk heart-to-heart.Make a discussion!And of course,allow everybody to express their opinion.

But I'm sure in Malay culture,we hardly find any Malay family to do that,huh?
or maybe all family,regardless of any race included?pfftt.

ok,seriously,I do not know any regular or effective custom of how to talk and sit as a family because all I know is the children have to bear with their parent's behaviour,furthermore when they have gotten old,above 50 y/o to be precise.

But in my case,it is rather special and harder to handle.I'm confused,seriously.Coz I have this one friend of mine,whose mother is of the same age with mine and whose father is way way wayyyy older than my mom,and my dad too if he's still alive!But,I don't see any problems between their family.She's very close to her mom ok!well,she's not so close w her father but from what I heard,they are okay together.Maybe there still are some little problems but I'm sure it's not a complex one like mine.

Back to my family,I know the older we get,the stranger the feeling we have towards our family members.Moreover if we have been apart for quite frequently i.e our sis or bro used to enter into boarding school,university lalala...We somehow lose the touch and knowing each other better.Or on a more serious part,we don't find family as our first resource to turn to when we have problems or share our happiness.Instead,we find our friends or anyone besides the family to do that.How sad is that huh?

Currently,I live with my sister,2nd elder bro n mom.My eldest sis is staying at Sabah w her hubby and baby,while my eldest bro is still abroad,studying engineering.

My 2nd sis that I'm living w now is in the process of divorce w her husband.I pity her a lot coz her hubby had been hitting her and she's a second wife to him.She''s now living w us and she's working as a teacher but she doesn't earn much.She has to pay for some of the house bills,legal fees and for her car etc.

I had a big fight w her previously.We didn't talk for weeks,but yeah finally we were ok.But one thing I realise is that after that fight,we could no longer enjoy this heart-to-heart conversation as sis.I'm scared if I hurt her feelings again,coz if it happens again,I just don't know how long it'd take for us to be good back.In other words,after that big fight,we have this INTERNAL GAP that I don't know whether could be fixed or not.

That's my sis.Now,my mom.

In my childhood years and early teenage years,I was quite an obedient child,meaning to say I'd get scared if my mom scold me and had always listened to her.Then,when I turned 16-17 like that,I became bolder to go against her words.I had always fought back whenever she scold me.That went on until I was 18,I guess.Then,I successfully changed.After Raya Haji last year I guess.I could control myself better now.I rarely fought back.But,I still make faces when she scold me.But it's my nature,I can't control them..

The thing w my mother is,She is used to nagging.It has became more obvious after she had her menopause.She doesn't have the shame of scolding us in front of our relatives,and she's being very sensitive about typical and small things like 'salam';She gets so furious if we don't make 'salam' w our relatives.and the list goes on...

It's kind of sickening,really to cope with her behaviour.It's very2 hard.Even my aunties and uncles notice about her behaviour.It's kind of touch my heart when they understand.Some expressly did so,but most of them impliedly do so.I could see from their facial expression that they are not happy or comfortable w my mom's behaviour.


I wish I could just tell them SORRY but I'm sure they understand better.Coz,this is just out of my control.


This does not happen to me alone.All my siblings receive the same treatment.We do not know what else to do.I think this is also one of the reasons why I can't be close to my other siblings as well.I rarely talk to my siblings,frankly.I keep things within myself.I handle pressure,hardship alone.why?Coz I just don't know who to turn to.We have never been taught to console and comfort each other,which should have been done by our own mother.But she never did so nor showed us how.I can't blame my sisters or brothers coz we come from the same mother.hmm

I'm sorry if I kind of blame my mom alone.Sorry Ya Allah.But,personally to heal this problem of internal conflicts between my family,we need a leader to do so.Obviously,the leader should be my mom,coz everything must go to her first.She decides everything.But tell me now,how is that possible if she keeps up w that kind of behaviour?Impossible right..Even if we were to ask her to change,it's very hard.She's getting older and could impossibly change what she is now...

How I wish I could turn back time and make my mom realise this so that she could change her behaviour and keep up with a better one when she gets old.But it's too late now..

I realise too this problem might also be due to our sinful acts.Maybe Allah is giving us tarbiyah through this test.For now,I could just ask forgiveness from HIM on my part and pray that He shall open the hearts of my family members to repent together for any sinful acts that we have committed all this while.I hope HE listens to my prayer and put this problem to its end,soon.

I love my family,I want to feel that feeling back;the feeling where MY FAMILY IS MY NUMBER 1 FOR ME,MY FAMILY IS EVERYTHING TO ME AND MY FAMILY IS MY DUNYA AND AKHIRAH TO ME.I want that feeling back please Ya Allah....

If You wouldn't change the situation,please change the way I react and respond towards them;in a more positive way.Make me stronger and wiser to handle this Ya Allah...

I hope in the future,you'd grant a good husband and good kids for me,if time permits.And more importantly,let me make my mom's behaviour as a great lesson to me in order to become a better wife and mom soon..amin


FORGIVE ME AND MY FAMILY MEMBERS YA ALLAH.....:(


AMINYARABBALALAMIN...

second semester result

:)

A smile says a lot about a person right?
And when I first put a smile for this post,it means I am good,and happy :D

Alhamdulillah,3.224.
Not as good as Dean's List GPA.
But it means so much to me.
I expected lesser,but Allah gave me more.
The result was much improved than previous semester.

I could still remember how devastating the moment I got to know my 1st semester result few months back.
At first,I managed to hold myself back,I was being positive,well speechless precisely.
Then few days after,the result leaves its huge impact on me.I started to cry and at that moment I realised how weak am I.It wasn't an easy moment for me.But it's great though,to experience it once in a while,coz you got to know how failures feel and cope with such situation.seriously,FAILURE is not our option in life.Don't just sit there and tell yourself it's okay to fail,coz in the end,reality bites!You'd feel hopeles with your failures and you'd never be motivated to do better.

So I decided to change.And I did change a lot in 2nd semester I could say.
I wrote a list of what I was going to do for the betterment of my studies in 2nd semester.
I sacrificed my weekends just to complete my notes.I rarely went back home.
I even changed my study plan where I only took 6 subjects (5 core) instead of 8.

The changes I've made makes my way of studying different from my friend's.
Sometimes I do feel that I work harder than them,while they could still play around but score better than me or even.

But that never let me down.
I know I may have to put a lot more effort than them,but I accept this challenge.I won't call this as disadvantage,coz I believe we work in our own way in order to succeed.We can't keep following blindly other people's footsteps because it may not suit with us.And that's what I did during my first semester,and I've learned from my mistake.

Nevertheless I have to thank my first semester,literally coz it has taught me a lot about life in university,in AIKOL precisely.

It has taught me that I must trust myself more and  most importantly,rely substantially on ALLAH.
The power of DUA I believe,has revealed itself,through this result.I really am thankful Ya Allah :))AhamdulillahhiRabbilAlamin

true :')

So before wrapping up,what have I learnt from this 2nd semester?

1.Don't write so little in your answer sheet.haha.but true,write as much as you could,but of course,not rubbish!

2.Don't get so jealous of other people's achievement,it will bring you nowhere.To gain knowledge,is to be humble,not being jealous and whatnot.

3.Pray harder,coz I know Dua is our greatest weapon :)

accomplishing your dream

I have always loved to be master in this.That's why to me,whenever I come across any articles,books videos  and etc about this,I'd never get bored to get indulged in them.Why?Because we are human beings.We tend to forget what we have learnt and experienced.So,We have to get back to the basic to start all over.

And today,I have found something related to this,but this is something more interesting,coz it's written from Islamic point of view.let's..

I was about ten years old when I decided that I wanted to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. At the time, it was just a childhood fantasy; I’d seen a documentary on TV and somehow decided that it needed to be included on my ‘wish list’. And so the item remained on my list (item number three, to be exact) - I want to climb Kilimanjaro. I would never have guessed that nearly two decades later, that dream would become a reality, and the mountain would be conquered. I often look back and wonder what kept the dream alive for so long and I realize this: with faith, hope and determination, anything is possible if you want it badly enough.

The road to achieving your goals is not always smooth and straight – I am sure you can relate to this! Sometimes the obstacles that come our way seem insurmountable. It is indeed hard work to reach your destination. In retrospect, I’ve realized that these six crucial steps have helped me reach my goal. I’d like to share them with you and I pray that whatever goal you’ve set for yourself falls within your grasp, Insha’Allah.

1.     Dream your dreams…

The human mind is a miraculous thing – Subhanallah! The ability to conceive and process thoughts and ideas beyond our understanding, are clear indications of Allah’s favors upon mankind. He has given man the amazing gifts of knowledge and wisdom, and the ability to dream. “And when he reached his prime, we gave him wisdom and knowledge” [Surah Yusuf, Verse 22]. So let your imagination loose, but remember to always be mindful of Allah  (glorified and exalted be He). Set goals that are worth achieving, and they should be good for you.

 2.     Ask Allah  (glorified and exalted be He) to guide you

Having an idea of what you want to achieve is excellent, but know that we can achieve nothing without Divine Intervention from our Creator.  Ask Allah [SWT] to guide you in reaching what you have set your mind to achieving: make duaa that if your goal is good for you, then Allah [SWT] will make it easy for you to achieve. “These depend on guidance from their Lord. These are successful” [Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 5].

 3.     Have a plan

A traveler in ancient Greece met an old man walking along the road. The traveler asked the old man how to get to Mount Olympus. The old man, who was actually the Greek philosopher, Socrates, pointed out the way and said: “Just make sure that every step you take is in that direction.”

It goes without saying that you need to have a plan of how you are going to achieve your goal. Being able to articulate in detail what it is that you’d like to achieve is the first step. Set timelines for yourself and try to stick to them. However, be conscious of Allah  (glorified and exalted be He) and know that His plans for us are always better than ours. “Although they plan, Allah also plans. And Allah is the best of Planners” [Surah al-Anfal, v 30]. Know where your “Mount Olympus” is and ask Allah (glorified and exalted be He) to guide your steps to reach it.

 4.     Work hard

If you work hard towards achieving your goal, Insha’Allah you will be successful. Be warned though – success does not come easy. You need to put in the time and effort. Sometimes, your efforts might seem in vain, but never stop trying. If you fall, pick yourself up and try again, but don’t stop trying. “Say (O Muhammad): O my people! Work according to your power. Lo! I too am working. Thus ye will come to know for which of us will be the happy sequel” [Surah Al-An’aam, Verse 135]. Remember that Allah only tests us to make us stronger and to bring us closer to Him. Work hard and you will reap the fruits of your labour.

 5.     Prepare for success

Before I’d even set foot in Tanzania, I’d have visions of myself standing at Uhuru Peak, waving my South African flag. I knew that the journey to the summit was going to be a tough one, so I needed to be mentally and physically prepared for it.

During the many grueling hours of endurance training, running in the rain and training on bitterly cold winter nights, there were many times when I was ready to quit – but that vision stayed clear in my head and kept me focused.

Keep your eye on the prize. When you feel like you’ve had enough and you’re ready to throw in the towel, visualize how you’ll feel if you were to succeed at reaching your goal. That should be enough motivation to keep you going.

 6.     Be patient – good things come to those who persevere

On the night we set out to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I had no fight left in me, let alone any strength to take on the intense final ascent. I remember praying and asking Allah [SWT] to guide me and make it possible for me to summit. The night was cold and energy levels were dwindling. The hike was arduous – literally one step at a time, “pole-pole” (which means ‘slowly, slowly’ in Swahili), and the summit, at that point, seemed out of reach. Then came the moment that I’d been living for…ten long hours later I stood at Uhuru Peak, the highest point of Africa – and I was elated. I also realized that this moment might have been missed, had I given up.

My advice to you is this: the road will be long and the journey will be tiring, but do not lose hope and don’t despair; “O ye who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for Allah is with those who patiently persevere” [Surah al-Baqara, Verse 153].

There are no age-limitations to achieving your goals; there’s no rule that you have to be six to learn to ride a bicycle. I read once about a woman who was 83 when she obtained her first university degree. When asked why she chose to study when her life was nearly drawing to a close, she responded, “You’re never too old to dream.” So dream your dreams, set goals for yourself and make sure that what you put into it will culminate in what you want to get out of it. “Set your goals high enough to inspire you and low enough to encourage you” [Anonymous].

Know of someone who’s done something outstanding at an unexpected age? Are you that person? Share your story and inspire others below!

About the Author:

Faiza Dean is a vibrant young professional – her field of specialization is adult learning, and she is employed as a Learning and Development Consultant for a multi-national company based in South Africa. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Applied Psychology, as well as qualifications in Project Management and Business Administration. One of her favourite pastimes is reading about Islamic History. Faiza’s motto is PURPOSE, and in an effort to fulfill her purpose, is actively involved in community upliftment projects and youth forums. 

my daily dose of dua

Doa supaya tidak berputus asa MARYAM :4










Doa dicukupkan keperluan [Taubah:129]

But if they turn away, [O Muhammad], say, "Sufficient for me is Allah ; there is no deity except Him. On Him I have relied, and He is the Lord of the Great Throne."


Doa memohon agar diterima amalan [Baqarah:127]

And [mention] when Abraham was raising the foundations of the House and [with him] Ishmael, [saying], "Our Lord, accept [this] from us. Indeed You are the Hearing, the Knowing.


Doa mohon agar mensyukuri nikmat Allah [Ahqaf:15]

"My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."

Doa mohon diberi keputusan yang baik [A'raaf:89]

Our Lord, decide between us and our people in truth, and You are the best of those who give decision."

choosing spouse?

Getting married is probably something that is going to happen in everyone's life.
So do mine,insyaAllah,if He wills.
This just got into my mind today;choosing your soon-to-be spouse.
I even googled any online quiz to get to know what type of partner is ideal for me.haha.
Well, i think it helps tho,a bit.Coz the result is..

Your ideal partner is a performer.You like someone who's into working and very well-organized about it.


Yes.It makes sense.I mean,that's really my type!haha.For once,I kind of trust this quiz.But only this,coz others just made me pull my face.They are total craps.


Then i thought why don't I just google some blogs that have this sort-of-advice on choosing spouse according to Islam.So here' s what I found.And I think this is quite helpful and good to ponder before we decide in choosing someone to become our marital partner :)



Hukum fikah membenarkan memilih pasangan tanpa melihat kedudukan, kekayaan dan pendidikan. Maknanya, dibolehkan wanita yang mempunyai kedudukan tinggi  berkahwin dengan lelaki yang tarafnya lebih rendah.Bagaimanapun , islam telah memberi panduan yang sangat baik untuk memilih calon suami atau isteri.Ini bagi mewujudkan rumahtangga yang serasi dan dapat di layari dengan aman dan tenteram.


  Sekufu (kufu) adalah istilah yang di gunakan ulama dalam bab perkahwinan yang bermaksud sepadan atau secocok di antara suami isteri.Islam mementingkan soal kufu kerana menjadi faktor menjamin kebahagiaan hidup berumahtangga.


   Banyak pasangan yang mengalami krisis rumahtangga di sebabkan tidak sekufu ( perbezaan darjat ),  berbeza pendapat, pemikiran, citarasa dan kebiasaan.Sebab itulah, pentingnya pengenalan atau merisik terlebih dahulu. Semasa tempoh merisik sepatutnya pengenalan diri calon haruslah di jelaskan tanpa menyembunyikan sesuatu perkara.Bagaimanapun perkara yang mendatangkan aib, tidak wajib didedahkan .Ini adalah lebih baik di sembunyikan bagi mengelak fitnah dan masalah pada masa hadapan.


  Jika suami, tidak menjelaskan secara jujur atau berbohong sepanjang tempoh bertunang atau berkenalan dan selepas akad nikah barulah si isteri mendapat tahu hal sebenarnya para ulama berpendapat adalah harus bagi isteri atau walinya menuntut fasakh bagi memutuskan ikatan.


  Ini membuktikan betapa pentingnya soal kufu.Calon suami atau isteri yang menyembunyikan tentang dirinya bermaksud tidak ikhlas dan ada niat menipu.Sedangkan dalam perkahwinan kejujuran , telus dan menghargai pasangan adalah perlu.


  Mengikut sudut syarak, ulama memberikan pelbagai aspek perlu di lihat berkaitan kufu.Imam hanafi, maliki, hambali dan syafie menjelaskan maksud persamaan kufu dilihat dari sudut keturunan, pekerjaan, keagamaan. fizikal, ilmuan dan juga harta. Aspek kufu lain adalah umur, hubungan kekeluargaan, minat, bangsa, gaya hidup dan tempat tinggal. Tetapi tetap meletakkan faktor agama menjadi keutamaan.Lelaki adalah ketua keluarga dan bertanggungjawab dalam mendidik isteri dan anak -anak melaksanakan amalan suruhan tuhan.


   Diriwayatkan dalam satu kisah, seorang lelaki datang menemui Hassan bin Ali , untuk mendapat nasihat. Katanya, " Anak perempuan aku dipinang oleh beberapa lelaki .Lelaki bagaimanakah yang layak dikahwinkan dengan puteriku ? ". Lantas Hassan menjawab : " kahwinkanlah dia dengan lelaki yang bertakwa kepada Allah, kerana jika dia menyukai isterinya dia pasti mengasihinya tetapi jika dia tidak menyukai isterinya pasti dia tidak akan berlaku zalim terhadapnya ".


   Sesungguhnya lelaki bertakwa tidak akan bertindak sesuka hati terhadap isterinya.Isterinya akan di layan dengan baik kerana isteri adalah amanat dari Allah. Penelitian soal kufu bukanlah bertujuan untuk menyukarkan soal pemilihan pasangan hidup . Sesungguhnya islam amat menggalakkan umatnya berkahwin.Antara urusan yang tidak patut ditangguhkan apabila tiba masanya adalah mendirikan rumahtangga.


The most famous citation of Prophet's Sunnah on choosing spouse:

Just as a husband should look for a righteous wife, so too should a woman look to choose a righteous husband. Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allaah said: “If someone should come to you whose religion and character you are pleased with, marry (your daughter) off to him. If you do not do so, there will be mischief in the land and widespread corruption.”[6]

Based on this, we see that the firm foundation that a potential couple should base their selection of one another should be that of: Religion and Character. This is what will bring about a correct and proper upbringing for children.

On the wedding night when the groom consummates the marriage, it is recommended for him to say: “O Allaah, I ask you for her good and the good that she was molded upon” whilst placing his hand upon her head. He should also pray two rak’aat with her.

WALLAHUA'LAM :)

random thoughts

I've always dreamt of becoming a good poet or a writer who could produce remarkable masterpiece.
It could be of any type;literature,academic article or a mere opinion..sort of journalist or columnist in a newspaper.

I admire those writings,although I'm actually quite picky in reading those stuffs.
I read according to my mood,except for my law books,where I'm left with no option but to read *giggles*
Sometimes I could be very enthusiastic in reading political issues which I think not many peers of my age would do so,err well on majority basis.And there'll be other times where I could indulge myself in reading best-selling author's novels,and there'll be other times where I would crave for magazines,haha.I'm so unpredictable like that.

But I'm surprised with myself that I would be growing up like this,a girl that loves to read,although not so consistently.I don't know where I got this trait from..lol.Nevertheless,I find the art of reading is an essential key for all of us to get to know what's going around in this world,besides socialising with people.I find those who are book lovers to be kind of attractive too,haha,random it is!Those people are worth looking up to,coz when they start speaking,you know they won't be full of crap,well at least you could trust them more than those people that don't read much.

But that doesn't make anybody who doesn't keep the habit of reading to be useless,coz knowledge can be acquired in many ways.It's just that reading is one of an informal way of learning.You can do it anytime,and that makes you substantially a knowledgeable person...if you know what you're reading and capable of making analysis or review.

Back to what leads me in writing this out ; becoming a good writer.I wish I could one day.I really do.I want people to read my stuff and appreciate every bit of it,in a way that my writing would inspire them or potential in becoming a good reference,either in formal or informal occasion.I believe writing is a strong tool for us to attract the mind of the people,that's why..you are what you read!

jauhnya aku daripada pencipta

saat aku tahu banyaknya dosa yang telah aku lakukan,saat itulah aku tahu kedudukan imanku.
makanya saat itu juga memberi gambaran bahawa jauhnya aku daripada penciptaku sendiri.

walaupun pada lisannya kata2 rindu kepada pencipta itu bisa dilafazkan,
namun sekiranya aku tanya hati kecilku,aku tahu ia pasti diam membisu.
mana tidaknya,masakan hatiku akan rindu pada penciptaku sedangkan semakin hari,semakin aku terbiasa dengan dosa-dosa yang aku lakukan.

rindu.
jika kita rindu pada sesuatu,kita pasti akan cari sesuatu bagi mengubat kerinduan kita.
yang pasti,sesuatu itu pasti akan membahagiakan hati kita dan
orang yang dirindui juga akan turut berasa sedemikian rupa tatkala mengetahui apa yang kita lakukan bagi mengubat kerinduan kepadanya.

nah,sekarang sudah jelas kan?
apa buktinya aku rindu pada penciptaku?
di manakah kalam sucinya aku letakkan?di mana tangisan ku  untuk Dia dengari?
di mana sujud tanda cinta dan kasih sayangku buat-Nya?di mana janji dan keazamanku untuk tidak menyebabkan kemurkaan-Nya?


rindu aku telah pergi jauh ditenggelami dosa-dosa duniawi.
rindu itu telah aku lepaskan kenikmatannya dengan memilih kebahagiaan di dunia ini.

ohhh..jahilnya aku.butanya aku.

Ya Allah,ampunkan aku.kembalikanlah rindu itu padaku.Amin Ya Rabb Al-Alamin

i seriously do :'(

subhanallah,my weakness :(

credit : productivemusli

today i am 20 y/o

alhamdulillah.Allah still grants me time and space to continue the role of being his caliph in this world.
 so today,9th of june,as early as 12.00 a.m i've received the countless of birthday wishes from my friends :)
i take all those wishes as thoughtful remembrance of my friends towards me :')

to me,birthday means nothing else but getting older and reminding us that death is coming real soon.
as your age inceases,a part of you dies off.that's life's deal.
life is not temporary,but akhira does.

i just hope that i'd become better in conducting my worldly affairs as my life is my investment in the hereafter.
I really hope that one day,i'd change myself substantially into a god-fearing person.
all in all,i hope the second phase of my life would mould me in becoming a stronger and happier person in line with Allah's will :')

here are some of pictures of my pre-birthday celebration made by my uni friends.
i can thank you no more ya Rabb for giving them in my life.alhamdulillah :')

a comeback?

consider it is

h-e-l-l-o bloggie :D

we meet again,after almost a year.

this time around,i'm gonna make this blog private.
it is exclusivley made for me to read and write, coz i don't find any reason to publicise my blog this time.
why?i may not be able to being committed and become an avid blogger anymore and that would,in the end make me become a quitter,all over again.

this time,i come blogging again with a purpose.
to disclose my intangible feelings on any occasion.
at the same time,i want to brush up my english-writing skill,which has gone worse,over the years.
so i hope by opening a blog again,it would be worth trying.
and lastly,my blog would substitute a 'recording tape' of mine so that i could take a walk down the memory lane soon to read back all the posts that i have made :)

wow,pretty pic it is :')