Improving

There are a lot ,well a couple of them to be more realistic,of things that I want to improve or work on in my life as of now.To think of them itself, always put me in an overwhelming state,but on another hand it's good to know that I am doing what a psychologist always presses on us -self-reflection, which in fact is an Islamic act too 😄 

Further, the transition from a teenage life to adulthood gives me a lot of things to work on in the pursuit of becoming a better person as an adult since some (well most of them actually) acts and thoughts that I've nurtured during my teenage life are no longer...emm relevant,if I may put it?

So here they go..the things that I feel I should pay more attention to for the sake of making my adulthood more fulfilling (at least that's what I thought) :-

1.Harnessing my deteriorating communication and interaction skills (even among the family member)

2.Practising mindfulness at all times

-during my teenage and uni days,I used to be a hardcore overthinker,to the point that if there's a job of such,I'll get the highest pay simply because I'm just,darn good at it 😂-overthinking drives my thoughts wild,makes me anxious and overwhlemed while I'm at it,and not to forget-gives me the hard time to think and act clearly..but now things seem to be improving,thanks to my 22 y/o self whom had made initiatives digging up stuffs to read and ponder about mindfulness

3.Prioritising my love and thoughts for my Creator-we all know that when we always think or even love something or someone,it will inadvertantly leads to attachment,even without us realising.Some of us are blessed with the ability to detach from something much easier,but some of us need to struggle for that.I've always been the victim of attachment,especially for the past 3-4 years because of the ever popular cause of it among us all-relationship.I've been struggling with this mental disease and more often than not,the process of detachment makes me feel regret with my own inability to cope with it.So just recently,I began to think what's the cause of this,because surely Allah does not bestow me with this weakness for me to give in,this must be among all the things that are created to test me as His servant,at least from religious point of view.And yes,I think I've found it, surprisingly without really digging it up in conscientious manner-reconsidering my prioritisation of love and thoughts.We always hear the religious people always advocate for love for Allah before anything else,but have we ever reflected as to why they keep on telling us when we start searching for our Mr Right and Mrs Right? Yes obviously, I admit I dont, and I'm so doomed for not internalising this all this while.When we put our love for Allah above everything else,we'd accept the good and most improtantly, the bad things happening in our lives.Even if things that do not go our way,we'd be able to accept it-I mean yes we'll cry,we'll be upset but it's not gonna be dreadful if you believe in the One that you love most 😉-come to think of it,thats kinda sweet right? And tell me, has He ever left you during your weakest point of life whenever you search for Him?Now dont you think this is the truest love of all?Subhanallah.It takes a lot of practice and of course patience to reach to this point,but if you asked me how did I ever end up being at this level,I'd say it's the miracle power of Dua'-tirelessly and endlessly..I always pray to Allah to make me among the pious,to grant me the chance in being among those righteous persons,and I think He's fixing our relationship first--Alhamdulillah,may it get better day by day ameen

4.Improving my writing skills

This has no direct connection with becoming an adult hahaha I know that.The thought of becoming good in my writing skill stems from the realisation that I'm a law graduate whom people look up to and put sucha high expectation in their ,among others ; writing skill.I know I dont owe anything to anyone for this,but I'd like to think and do that this is one of the great things I can offer to people.Besides, writing is my passion.I user to have a blog that I passionately updated at least once every 2-3 weeks and god knows how therapeutic writing can be to some people-including myself.Writing skill,is also one of the greatest attributes anyone could have being in the professional line.So yeah,I'm taking this thing seriously now and one of the plan of actions is to be active in blogging again ahahahaha,how's that? Of course that's not all as I've also considered going for class-but god knows when teheeehehe-ok let's pray and seriously execute that!

Oh wow..panjang noks mak tulis..not sure if this is just another once-in-a-bluemoon post,well let's hope it's not! I think that's it for now.It's such a huge relief to know that I've put everything into   writing because it takes a huge chunk of commitment from my current life now haha propa minah ni bajet busy betul(more like buat2 busy seriously).okay last word-let's pray Allah make all of the above easy to be realised..ameen 

'You can have it all.Just not all at once'-Oprah Winfrey ☘words to live by

Admonishing myself

Dear Khadijah,

As long as you're still breathing,you have all the priveleges to craft the life you've always wanted.

Have a growth mindset--which means you'd ALWAYS have to assure yourself that you CAN always be a better version of yourself every.single.day

Confidence does not happen by having people around you saying the same to yourself.Instead,you MAKE it happen,yourself.Remember,whether you think you can or you can't,you're right 

Changes TAKE TIME.So please have enormous patience in acquiring the things you are looking forward to.In case you're stumbling along the process,assure yourself that it's normal to fail and that it's okay to fail as you are yet to reach your 'destination'--remember to have a growth mindset!

That's all...to my dear self,you are going to be :-

1.A good conversationalist with everyone--ameen

2.A reliable person--ameen

3.A respectful and gracious lady--ameen

4.A great Muslimah--ameen

Rabbi yassir Wala Tu'assir.Ameen

 

Of life's most difficult test (as of now)

As a mere creation to Allah S.W.T the greatest, we are bound by all life's circumstances-the good and the bad..and more often than not,it is how we respond to the bad life's events that define our true strength and weaknesses, than to the good ones.It is kind of funny to think sometimes that it actually takes a lot of difficulties to go thru and swallow in finding ourselves and put our life or worldview into perspective..But that has always been Allah's promise in the Quran  to those who believe-do thou not think that you believe and shall not be tested? (rephrased)

The cycle of a human's life is so predictable where at one moment where you are on top and already passed that difficult test/ life's greatest hurdles,you are not necessarily gonna remember how you actually made it.Even if you did remember,the moment your life hits rock bottom again, you seem to be clueless all over again as to how picking yourself up..that seems so familiar right? I guess that's Our Lord's greatest power which is perfectly put in the aforesaid verse..

I just went thru devastating moments in my life.Well, tbh I had one or two previously, but they are for different reasons and things,so this time around,the devastating moments make me feel as overwhelmed as I did previously.In the following para,I shall write those devastating moments/events in sub-topics for ease of reading 

1.the current jobs

Chambering life,as in my previous post,does not turn out to be as what I'm expecting-

How's life dudeee

Messed up.

At least that's what I'm feeling..I never thought I'd go through this painful journey in my life.

Chambering life was not as I expected..The hardship,the struggle,the unpleasant moments relating to work,I've known that long time, thus the reason I was ready to sign up for this..but the fact that I seem not to be 'cut out' in the legal world seems so dreadful.I think I dont measure up to those lawyer's standards..I'm far from being a good chambee,let alone the best or excellent one 

I still remember that moment before degree life starts..jpa scholarship,average though not so remarkable grade during foundation looked so promising that life would be smooth sailing until I graduate with LLB 4 years later..just when I thought I had it all figured out,chambering life seems not to be on my side..I hardly convince my boss that I could actually be doing greatly during the 9-months term,when in fact I knew all along that they seem not to be have trust with me to do variety kinds of work..options seem to be so limited for a person like me

Gosh,writing this down is enough to make me feel so dreadful with my life now :(

I need some comfort before I end my chambering life,although I'm not seeing any wonderful moments coming during my long call soon..I just need some assurance that what I'm going through is gonna benefit me despite not being cut out for this profession

It's so complicated to deal with this kind of feeling..as if I never stumbled upon life's test :/ it's a novelty to me

I hope this shall pass soon,coz I know it definitely would...

Life as a future graduate

Hello..it's been a while since I have been writing in here.Almost a year already,I bet?
Wohooo for starter, wowww that's quite long..

Well to make things clear, I think that's not really an issue because when I first decided to re-indulge myself to the world of blogging,I did not promise myself to be a regular blogger--i write only when I feel like to.So, almost-a-year of hiatus is nothing to be made fuss about okay?hihi

As I'm writing this,I have just finished with one of my final paper for my final semester in uni (yeah you read that--final sem wehoooo).Strangely speaking, I am enjoying every bit of my final exam--although there still are unpleasant moments that I wish I could avoid asap-yeap the none other revision time,teheeee.I think this time around I feel happier, a lot happier studying or in other words learning new stuffs, albeit it's the dull and boring academic stuffs.why is that?? Well maybe because I have a changed vision towards the knowledge I gain--I begin to take my homework seriously where I would do it perfectly as much as I could. And that applies to the way i revise too.I used to be that 'taqlid' girl who only memorises stuffs without even bother (much) what the topic is really all about--while others actively making commentaries,identifying the weaknesses and etc.To put it simply,I have begun to have the interest analysing the stuffs I learn in class.

For the record, I am very grateful for my mind being opened to this small revolution.I used to be that 'bookish' type of girl who depends a lot on notes whenever I'm thrown with any legal questions or opinion.It's really not cool to be that kind of person--seriously.With this new attitude towards learning ,I hope that would do me a great favour when I start working soon.Of course I am opened to new and better changes if that's for the best.So far, this is one of  the things I think I could really rely on as a future graduate.

But i know, that is not all, as the real expectations we've always heard from those who have joined the work force is-skills.this 6-letter word is the most valuable thing any employer would run after in considering a new employee.I have always been an avid believer in this too.While knowledge makes you smart, it's the skills that take you far in life,realistically speaking.Well, we all know that.To be honest, I am still lacking with this--far from satisfactory,let alone perfect.Skills needed here is of course the so-called social skills, working etiquette--just to name a few.This is one of those things that worry me most for my working life later.

Despite all these, the good thing is--everything is so uncertain now,to say the least.I hope to see myself grow better in those skills one day since we all thrive on them!May He make this journey smooth and a bearable one for me to get through.I know there's more to life than all this--like kawin and all!lol heehehee but let's face it people--even choosing your life partner involves skills!

That's that I guess.

Dear diary,i dunno when will we meet again(seriously i have to make this clear to you haha) but till then, I hope this would suffice for now to at least update a lil bit bout myself.

Say happy graduating to me ;))

    The final-year selfie in the library 😅😁

reconcile

i gonna make this time's post as short as possible coz I'm too tired to think of a lengthy one bahaha..furthermore i'm at work place, which means it's gonna be a hassle if i wrote in lengthy (ni pun sebab bos xmasuk2 lagi!)


so,i just, reconciled with my ex....
i, actually am not really surprised yet not also forseeing this to happen too..*conflicting much*

to make it short,
he came back asking(not begging) if we could still make it.
this has actually been the 2nd time for him to ask...and i finally agreed..oh noo not immediately of course.
I took approximately 2 days to give it a thought..and finally i agree to give it a try..

so,,,the reason being???
-I still have feelings for him that I think I took into consideration what he said to me which was more or less something like this ; " I know we're going to be okay...I'm serious about this but still, we won't know what would happen in the future.....and the fact that you're good enough for me"

I didnt fall head over heels la for sure...I just gave it a thought and I think his words kind of make sense to me...

I've also considered the fact that he doesn't want to talk me everyday 24/7 coz through that, i'm not gonna be a clingy person,like I used to be...and being clingy is one of the main cause of our previous separation..and that made me feel kind of bad for myself too...

But no high hopes this time!Maybe if it's meant to be, Allah will make it easy for us,insyaALLAH..I've also had in mind that I don't want to get attached too much to him this time around ; no over-thinking, no 24/7 texting...even if he decided not to have a date or call me anymore pun, I'd accept,insyaAllah..

to some this may be one of the rarest kind of r/ship,but let it be.This is my 3rd time already with him,thus i shall be more careful and relaxed,but of course I'm serious

Another thing is. I hope he will not distract me much from my focus on  my future in becoming a future lawyer/any job i'd take,my resp. as a daughter and most importantly as a servant of Allah....critical attachment is a big NO this time, ameen...

Allah knows best and thus, I'd pray the best for both of us :)

of being great public speaker and presenter

“A good speech should be like a woman's skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” 
― Winston Churchill

“Students of public speaking continually ask, "How can I overcome
self-consciousness and the fear that paralyzes me before an
audience?"  

Did you ever notice in looking from a train window that some
horses feed near the track and never even pause to look up at the
thundering cars, while just ahead at the next railroad crossing a
farmer's wife will be nervously trying to quiet her scared horse as
the train goes by? How would you cure a horse that is afraid of cars—graze him in a
back-woods lot where he would never see steam-engines or
automobiles, or drive or pasture him where he would frequently see
the machines?

Apply horse-sense to ridding yourself of self-consciousness and
fear: face an audience as frequently as you can, and you will soon stop shying. You can never attain
freedom from stage-fright by reading a treatise. A book may give
you excellent suggestions on how best to conduct yourself in the
water, but sooner or later you must get wet, perhaps even strangle
and be "half scared to death." There are a great many "wetless"
bathing suits worn at the seashore, but no one ever learns to swim
in them. To plunge is the only way.” 
― Dale Carnegie, The Art of Public Speaking

Everyone I believe, loves it when their voices are heard and pondered upon,and this is much more fulfilling when you are speaking to a large group of people where you want your ideas to reach to them,especially for formal purposes.

And I too,am not excluded from that group .Being able to speak your ideas out has some kind of powerful force that could pull people to you.Well, the purpose is entirely yours ; mala fide or bona fide.Regardless of these two differing objectives, the end result contemplated is just the same : you desire for your voices and if possible, every tiny bit of what you said,is remembered.

I've been receiving formal education for more than 11 years and have started engaging myself with presentations, public speaking and the likes for years too.However, the seemingly long years of studying and exposing yourself with those things still do not guarantee that you'll come out as great speakers and for that very fact, I kind of feel upset with myself.

It is more intense since I am currently reading law in my tertiary education and the job scope I'll be acquainted with requires me to be good in both public speaking and presentation,which are inter-related;Advocates & Solicitors, Legal advisor,Human Resource officer are just to name a few.

So what's my point in addressing this topic though?wahahaha..of course for lamenting of my implausibility in the aforementioned skills...

Ok let's just get to the matter at hand.I find it bored too to just lamenting..so I'd like to enclose this article to give me some sort of ideas and ways to overcome my weaknesses....ok brace yourself, the article down there is on TED-the famously public speaking arena talked about for you to read and digest!

It doesn’t surprise me anymore that wherever I travel in the world, I hear about TED. TED talks are translated into 90 languages, which is more than the Harry Potter series. TEDx events have been held in 145 countries. Teachers across America are showing TED videos to students to help satisfy the new Common Core educational standards, which place a greater emphasis on public speaking and presentation skills.

After analyzing 500 of the best TED talks, interviewing speakers whose TED presentations have been viewed nearly 20 million times, and pouring over research by leading neuroscientists, I’ve reached the conclusion that the human brain is wired to love the TED style. People simply can’t get enough of TED talks because they are truly addictive.

The good news—having to raise your game to the TED-style is not a bad thing. In fact, adopting the techniques that have brought some TED speakers global acclaim will make it much more likely that you will persuade your audience to act on your ideas. I’ve identified 9 common elements to all TED talks and each of these are scientifically proven to increase the likelihood that your pitch or presentation will be successful, whether you’re pitching to one person or speaking to thousands.

1. Unleash the master within.Passion leads to mastery and mastery forms the foundation of an extraordinary presentation. You cannot inspire others unless you are inspired yourself. You stand a much greater chance of persuading and inspiring your listeners if you express an enthusiastic, passionate, and meaningful connection to your topic.
2. Tell three stories. Tell stories to reach people’s hearts and minds. Brain scans reveal that stories stimulate and engage the human brain, helping the speaker connect with the audience and making it much more likely that the audience will agree with the speaker’s point of view. Recently I wrote this columnabout Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Her original TED talk was going to be “chock full of facts and figures, and nothing personal.” Instead she told three stories and ignited a movement. Stories connect us. Tell more of them.
3. Practice relentlessly. Harvard brain researcher Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor had this “stroke of insight” that has been viewed 15 million times on TED.com. Dr. Jill rehearsed her presentation 200 times before she delivered it live. Practice relentlessly and internalize your content so that you can deliver the presentation as comfortably as having a conversation with a close friend.
4. Teach your audience something new. The human brain loves novelty. An unfamiliar, unusual, or unexpected element in a presentation jolts the audience out of their preconceived notions, and quickly gives them a new way of looking at the world. Robert Ballard is an explorer who discovered Titanic in 1985. He told me, “Your mission in any presentation is to inform, educate, and inspire. You can only inspire when you give people a new way of looking at the world in which they live.”
5. Deliver jaw-dropping moments. The jaw-dropping moment—scientists call it an ‘emotionally competent stimulus’— is anything in a presentation that elicits a strong emotional response such as joy, fear, shock, or surprise. It grabs the listener’s attention and is remembered long after the presentation is over. In this column on how Bill Gates radically transformed his public-speaking skills, I demonstrate how Gates learned to incorporate a jaw-dropping moment into many of his public presentations, including his now famous TED talks.
6. Use humor without telling a joke. Humor lowers defenses, making your audience more receptive to your message. It also makes you seem more likable, and people are more willing to do business with or support someone they like. The funny thing about humor is that you don’t need to tell a joke to get a laugh. Educator Sir Ken Robinson educated and amused his audience in the most popular TED talk of all time: How Schools Kill Creativity. Robinson makes humorous, often self-deprecating, observations about his chosen field, education. “If you’re at a dinner party and you say you work in education—actually, you’re not often at dinner parties, frankly, if you work in education…” Robinson makes very strong, provocative observations about nurturing creativity in children, and he packages the material around humorous anecdotes and asides that endear him to the audience. Lighten up. Don’t take yourself (or your topic) too seriously.
7. Stick to the 18-minute rule. A TED presentation can be no longer than 18 minutes. Eighteen minutes is the ideal length of time to get your point across. Researchers have discovered that “cognitive backlog,” too much information, prevents the successful transmission of ideas. TED curator Chris Anderson has been quoted as saying that 18 minutes is “long enough to be serious and short enough to hold people’s attention.”
8. Favor pictures over text. PowerPoint is not the enemy. Bullet points are. Some of the best TED presentations are designed in PowerPoint. Others use AppleAAPL -0.64% Keynote or Prezi. Regardless of the software, there are no bullet points on the slides of the best TED presentations. There are pictures, animations, and limited amounts of text—but no slides cluttered with line after line of bullet points. This technique is called “picture superiority.” It simply means we are much more likely to recall an idea when a picture complements it.
9. Stay in your lane. The most inspiring TED speakers are open, authentic, and, at times, vulnerable. Researcher Brené Brown even gave a TED talk on the topic of vulnerability and how her own research led to her personal journey to know herself. Opening up paid off for Brown in a big way. Oprah discovered Brown on TED, invited Brown to be on her show, and today Brown is a bestselling author and regular contributor to O, The Oprah Magazine.

Make no mistake. Your ability to persuasively sell your ideas is the single greatest skill that will help you achieve your dreams. Follow these nine rules and you’ll astonish, electrify, and inspire your audiences.

Carmine Gallo is a popular keynote speaker, internationally recognized communication coach, and author of the new book, Talk Like TED: The 9-Public Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds. Carmine Gallo is an independent, objective communication expert not affiliated with TED Conferences, LLC. Learn more at talkliketed.com.  For more articles and tips on communication, join my elist at carminegallo.com.