Anyways,this time around,I'm not gonna make things long winded(hopefully)..just a couple of rants on how am I doing currently...so let's start shall we
1.pupillage
One more month (plus minus) to end my pupillage life..can you believe it-the 9-months bittersweet life as a chambee is about to end..I'm still in awe as to how I finally made it(almost made it) since I still remember during the first few months i dread about going to work..it was never easy back then,seriously.I even planned to quit,not once but for 2-3 times that thought came to me bahaahha..so funny coz I couldnt believe how immature I was at that point of time.But looking at where I am now,I couldn't be any prouder with myself.The transition from becoming an immature fresh grad to an almost legal lawyer is something I shall remember and for the rest of my life.It was a life-changing moment for me-big time.I'm not really interested to talk bout my scope of work coz that is not the thing that gives so much impact to myself,but yea going thru the daily life as a pupil in chamber teaches me about myself-I think one post is never enough for me to tell on that..but from this already-long para,I'm putting this--it's never an easy journey,but a meaningful and a great one for my self-growth.So yeah what's life after pupillage?well no definite answer yet for that! Let's just everything over first,go for vacay,sleep for one whole month and only think of that later hahaha
2.thought on changing career?
I've always had this doubt during pupillage that I'm gonna be a great lawyer once I get #lawyered soon..or at least this is not gonna be something I'd enjoy doing for the rest of my life or even in the near future.I had a very tough time thinking about this as my heart and my mind collaboratively go against my thoughy but sometimes they seem to concur with me..sheesshh.I've read once that if you believe in your dreams,go for it,persevere,and most importantly dont ever give up.So if I ever want to hold on to this motivation,I must shun the thought that I'm not gonna be a good lawyer,simply because I could if I just believe that great things take time to happen.But the problem now lies in the second thought of not becoming a lawyer as it is not something I'd enjoy doing.See the conflict now?I'm sure most people in this whole entire planet have or may be going through the same thing as I do,but the thing is how to even solve this..? One decision may not be favourable for everyone.There is no specific and particular decision for everyone.Despite that,I must make a decision, and I know for a fact that the more diverged the road I'm gonna pick from where I am now,the more changes I'd have to face--the good and the bad
3.spiritual changes
Gosh why is my post revolving around changes ja ni...hahaha.Ok2 let's just get back to the sub-topic--I'm not sure if I have correctly put it but my point here is on the inner changes-particularly on my connection with my Creator.Just few weeks ago,I experienced a beautiful feeling within myself.It is something so pure,free and most importantly,calming.I had this absolute or to sound more realistic-controlled feelings and attachment to the things around me-less reactive thoughts and actions, open-mindedness and contented with the good and bad that is happening arounnd me.It's an amazingly beautiful feeling.And to make it more meaningful and beautiful,I feel a strengthened tie and knot with my Creator as I enjoy and stayed mindful throughout my prayer,in remembering Him and in observing almost everything that He orders.This temporary feeling I felt got me into thinking that I become the best version of myself when my feeling is at this state.Finally I've realised this is the result when your Iman is rising and when you priroritise your love for Allah above everything else--he fulfills you,enriches you and makes everything to be bearable..and that also makes the saying 'When you have Allah,you have everything' sensible.ok,enough on describing the feelings.This temporary experience presses me on thinking about my purpose in life,on why Islam requires us to always purify ourselves internally and the reason is known to me already since I've felt it.I am not born into a family who practices Islam by heart--I mean alhamdulillah so far that I've known,my family observes the basic principles of becoming a Muslim, but to claim that we are a perfect example of a practising Muslim family is way too exaggerating..I think I acquire an improved understanding about my religion not mostly from my family--it is always the tough times that 'force' me into searching on the reasons of where did I go wrong with all my religious rituals which dont seem to be 'working' its effects on me as we all believe when we do good,we'll get the same in return.And yes,it is during the tough times that Allah blesses me with that beautiful feelings after I prayed hard for Allah to make my heart detached from everything in this world as it gets me overwhelmed and makes me feel uneasy most of the time.It is when this beautiful feeling is being 'lended' to me too makes me thinking that the spiritual changes makes me a better person,puts my life into perspective and gives me strength to endure life's challenges.For that matter,I am seriously thinking into putting effort to be able to be in that state again,and if possible forever.
Okayyy that is a very long-winded post already teheee...I shall stop now before I make this even longer and crappy haha..with that,toodles!
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