Self-Help notes #1

For people to take you seriously, do these

1.Be confident

-being confident means you are taking yourself seriously--so in consequence,people will do the same

-how?be more assertive,practice good posture

-to be confident,have the right Attitude :-

🎈accept new experiences and mistakes.as long as you've tried your level best,whatever happens,you'll accept

🎈be comfortable with uncertainties

🎈have faith in your ability

🎈believe that you can cope,not necessarily succeed

🎈dont be so hard on yourself

🎈dont need the approval of others

🎈have curiosity-consider a child who loves to try things out

🎈dont be arrogant-because you'd tend to take risk beyond your ability when you think you're better than others.

-after all,confident people rarely aware that they are confident😉

🎈fake it till you make it-your mind does not the truth/ falsehood of something 

-it will act based on what you 'tell' it

-to have something,you have to repeat till you make it!

🎈use to the fullest/leeverage your strength-if you focus on your weaknesses,where would confidence come from?

-think of any of your strength, and tell/affirm yourself that you are great--that simple!

🎈dont be obsessed with perfectionism-

Remember nothing is so ever perfect in this world.so,allow yourself to 'bump into' and make mistakes

-perfectionists always have low self-esteem because they always crticise themselves

🎈appreciate what you already have-confidence comes frm our belief that we are successful.so,take note of your successes in life

-no matter where you are now,you MUST have achieved much more than you think

-so,avoid thinking abt your future self and compare with yourself now--you'll get depressed!

🎈make smaller goals for near future-and dont forget to praise yourself/celebrate!

-this is important to bring back self-confidence

☘reminder

-confidence is a process,it can't be achieved overnight

-you need patience and perseverance to do this

-despite the challenges,you have to believe that you'll achieve it and that it's under your control

Rants on life (currently)

Hye blog..uuu let's blow some dust first  shall we teheee..sory for the long hiatus,it's been quite a while,well not really ahaaha apa ceq merepek ni..huhu I'm in an overwhelming state kot tu yg panjang mukadimah

Anyways,this time around,I'm not gonna make things long winded(hopefully)..just a couple of rants on how am I doing currently...so let's start shall we

1.pupillage

One more month (plus minus) to end my pupillage life..can you believe it-the 9-months bittersweet life as a chambee is about to end..I'm still in awe as to how I finally made it(almost made it) since I still remember during the first few months i dread about going to work..it was never easy back then,seriously.I even planned to quit,not once but for 2-3 times that thought came to me bahaahha..so funny coz I couldnt believe how immature I was at that point of time.But looking at where I am now,I couldn't be any prouder with myself.The transition from becoming an immature fresh grad to an almost legal lawyer is something I shall remember and for the rest of my life.It was a life-changing moment for me-big time.I'm not really interested to talk bout my scope of work coz that is not the thing that gives so much impact to myself,but yea going thru the daily life as a pupil in chamber teaches me about myself-I think one post is never enough for me to tell on that..but from this already-long para,I'm putting this--it's never an easy journey,but a meaningful and a great one for my self-growth.So yeah what's life after pupillage?well no definite answer yet for that! Let's just everything over first,go for vacay,sleep for one whole month and only think of that later hahaha

2.thought on changing career?

I've always had this doubt during pupillage that I'm gonna be a great lawyer once I get #lawyered soon..or at least this is not gonna be something I'd enjoy doing for the rest of my life or even in the near future.I had a very tough time thinking about this as my heart and my mind collaboratively go against my thoughy but sometimes they seem to concur with me..sheesshh.I've read once that if you believe in your dreams,go for it,persevere,and most importantly dont ever give up.So if I ever want to hold on to this motivation,I must shun the thought that I'm not gonna be a good lawyer,simply because I could if I just believe that great things take time to happen.But the problem now lies in the second thought of not becoming a lawyer as it is not something I'd enjoy doing.See the conflict now?I'm sure most people in this whole entire planet have or may be going through the same thing as I do,but the thing is how to even solve this..? One decision may not be favourable for everyone.There is no specific and particular decision for everyone.Despite that,I must make a decision, and I know for a fact that the more diverged the road I'm gonna pick from where I am now,the more changes I'd have to face--the good and the bad

3.spiritual changes

Gosh why is my post revolving around changes ja ni...hahaha.Ok2 let's just get back to the sub-topic--I'm not sure if I have correctly put it but my point here is on the inner changes-particularly on my connection with my Creator.Just few weeks ago,I experienced a beautiful feeling within myself.It is something so pure,free and most importantly,calming.I had this absolute or to sound more realistic-controlled feelings and attachment to the things around me-less reactive thoughts and actions, open-mindedness and contented with the good and bad that is happening arounnd me.It's an amazingly beautiful feeling.And to make it more meaningful and beautiful,I feel a strengthened tie and knot with my Creator as I enjoy and stayed mindful throughout my prayer,in remembering Him and in observing almost everything that He orders.This temporary feeling I felt got me into thinking that I become the best version of myself when my feeling is at this state.Finally I've realised this is the result when your Iman is rising and when you priroritise your love for Allah above everything else--he fulfills you,enriches you and makes everything to be bearable..and that also makes the saying 'When you have Allah,you have everything' sensible.ok,enough on describing the feelings.This temporary experience presses me on thinking about my purpose in life,on why Islam requires us to always purify ourselves internally and the reason is known to me already since I've felt it.I am not born into a family who practices Islam by heart--I mean alhamdulillah so far that I've known,my family observes the basic principles of becoming a Muslim, but to claim that we are a perfect example of a practising Muslim family is way too exaggerating..I think I acquire an improved understanding about my religion not mostly from my family--it is always the tough times that 'force' me into searching on the reasons of where did I go wrong with all my religious rituals which dont seem to be 'working' its effects on me as we all believe when we do good,we'll get the same in return.And yes,it is during the tough times that Allah blesses me with that beautiful feelings after I prayed hard for Allah to make my heart detached from everything in this world as it gets me overwhelmed and makes me feel uneasy most of the time.It is when this beautiful feeling is being 'lended' to me too makes me thinking that the spiritual changes makes me a better person,puts my life into perspective and gives me strength to endure life's challenges.For that matter,I am seriously thinking into putting effort to be able to be in that state again,and if possible forever.

Okayyy that is a very long-winded post already teheee...I shall stop now before I make this even longer and crappy haha..with that,toodles!

Improving

There are a lot ,well a couple of them to be more realistic,of things that I want to improve or work on in my life as of now.To think of them itself, always put me in an overwhelming state,but on another hand it's good to know that I am doing what a psychologist always presses on us -self-reflection, which in fact is an Islamic act too 😄 

Further, the transition from a teenage life to adulthood gives me a lot of things to work on in the pursuit of becoming a better person as an adult since some (well most of them actually) acts and thoughts that I've nurtured during my teenage life are no longer...emm relevant,if I may put it?

So here they go..the things that I feel I should pay more attention to for the sake of making my adulthood more fulfilling (at least that's what I thought) :-

1.Harnessing my deteriorating communication and interaction skills (even among the family member)

2.Practising mindfulness at all times

-during my teenage and uni days,I used to be a hardcore overthinker,to the point that if there's a job of such,I'll get the highest pay simply because I'm just,darn good at it 😂-overthinking drives my thoughts wild,makes me anxious and overwhlemed while I'm at it,and not to forget-gives me the hard time to think and act clearly..but now things seem to be improving,thanks to my 22 y/o self whom had made initiatives digging up stuffs to read and ponder about mindfulness

3.Prioritising my love and thoughts for my Creator-we all know that when we always think or even love something or someone,it will inadvertantly leads to attachment,even without us realising.Some of us are blessed with the ability to detach from something much easier,but some of us need to struggle for that.I've always been the victim of attachment,especially for the past 3-4 years because of the ever popular cause of it among us all-relationship.I've been struggling with this mental disease and more often than not,the process of detachment makes me feel regret with my own inability to cope with it.So just recently,I began to think what's the cause of this,because surely Allah does not bestow me with this weakness for me to give in,this must be among all the things that are created to test me as His servant,at least from religious point of view.And yes,I think I've found it, surprisingly without really digging it up in conscientious manner-reconsidering my prioritisation of love and thoughts.We always hear the religious people always advocate for love for Allah before anything else,but have we ever reflected as to why they keep on telling us when we start searching for our Mr Right and Mrs Right? Yes obviously, I admit I dont, and I'm so doomed for not internalising this all this while.When we put our love for Allah above everything else,we'd accept the good and most improtantly, the bad things happening in our lives.Even if things that do not go our way,we'd be able to accept it-I mean yes we'll cry,we'll be upset but it's not gonna be dreadful if you believe in the One that you love most 😉-come to think of it,thats kinda sweet right? And tell me, has He ever left you during your weakest point of life whenever you search for Him?Now dont you think this is the truest love of all?Subhanallah.It takes a lot of practice and of course patience to reach to this point,but if you asked me how did I ever end up being at this level,I'd say it's the miracle power of Dua'-tirelessly and endlessly..I always pray to Allah to make me among the pious,to grant me the chance in being among those righteous persons,and I think He's fixing our relationship first--Alhamdulillah,may it get better day by day ameen

4.Improving my writing skills

This has no direct connection with becoming an adult hahaha I know that.The thought of becoming good in my writing skill stems from the realisation that I'm a law graduate whom people look up to and put sucha high expectation in their ,among others ; writing skill.I know I dont owe anything to anyone for this,but I'd like to think and do that this is one of the great things I can offer to people.Besides, writing is my passion.I user to have a blog that I passionately updated at least once every 2-3 weeks and god knows how therapeutic writing can be to some people-including myself.Writing skill,is also one of the greatest attributes anyone could have being in the professional line.So yeah,I'm taking this thing seriously now and one of the plan of actions is to be active in blogging again ahahahaha,how's that? Of course that's not all as I've also considered going for class-but god knows when teheeehehe-ok let's pray and seriously execute that!

Oh wow..panjang noks mak tulis..not sure if this is just another once-in-a-bluemoon post,well let's hope it's not! I think that's it for now.It's such a huge relief to know that I've put everything into   writing because it takes a huge chunk of commitment from my current life now haha propa minah ni bajet busy betul(more like buat2 busy seriously).okay last word-let's pray Allah make all of the above easy to be realised..ameen 

'You can have it all.Just not all at once'-Oprah Winfrey ☘words to live by

Admonishing myself

Dear Khadijah,

As long as you're still breathing,you have all the priveleges to craft the life you've always wanted.

Have a growth mindset--which means you'd ALWAYS have to assure yourself that you CAN always be a better version of yourself every.single.day

Confidence does not happen by having people around you saying the same to yourself.Instead,you MAKE it happen,yourself.Remember,whether you think you can or you can't,you're right 

Changes TAKE TIME.So please have enormous patience in acquiring the things you are looking forward to.In case you're stumbling along the process,assure yourself that it's normal to fail and that it's okay to fail as you are yet to reach your 'destination'--remember to have a growth mindset!

That's all...to my dear self,you are going to be :-

1.A good conversationalist with everyone--ameen

2.A reliable person--ameen

3.A respectful and gracious lady--ameen

4.A great Muslimah--ameen

Rabbi yassir Wala Tu'assir.Ameen

 

Of life's most difficult test (as of now)

As a mere creation to Allah S.W.T the greatest, we are bound by all life's circumstances-the good and the bad..and more often than not,it is how we respond to the bad life's events that define our true strength and weaknesses, than to the good ones.It is kind of funny to think sometimes that it actually takes a lot of difficulties to go thru and swallow in finding ourselves and put our life or worldview into perspective..But that has always been Allah's promise in the Quran  to those who believe-do thou not think that you believe and shall not be tested? (rephrased)

The cycle of a human's life is so predictable where at one moment where you are on top and already passed that difficult test/ life's greatest hurdles,you are not necessarily gonna remember how you actually made it.Even if you did remember,the moment your life hits rock bottom again, you seem to be clueless all over again as to how picking yourself up..that seems so familiar right? I guess that's Our Lord's greatest power which is perfectly put in the aforesaid verse..

I just went thru devastating moments in my life.Well, tbh I had one or two previously, but they are for different reasons and things,so this time around,the devastating moments make me feel as overwhelmed as I did previously.In the following para,I shall write those devastating moments/events in sub-topics for ease of reading 

1.the current jobs

Chambering life,as in my previous post,does not turn out to be as what I'm expecting-

How's life dudeee

Messed up.

At least that's what I'm feeling..I never thought I'd go through this painful journey in my life.

Chambering life was not as I expected..The hardship,the struggle,the unpleasant moments relating to work,I've known that long time, thus the reason I was ready to sign up for this..but the fact that I seem not to be 'cut out' in the legal world seems so dreadful.I think I dont measure up to those lawyer's standards..I'm far from being a good chambee,let alone the best or excellent one 

I still remember that moment before degree life starts..jpa scholarship,average though not so remarkable grade during foundation looked so promising that life would be smooth sailing until I graduate with LLB 4 years later..just when I thought I had it all figured out,chambering life seems not to be on my side..I hardly convince my boss that I could actually be doing greatly during the 9-months term,when in fact I knew all along that they seem not to be have trust with me to do variety kinds of work..options seem to be so limited for a person like me

Gosh,writing this down is enough to make me feel so dreadful with my life now :(

I need some comfort before I end my chambering life,although I'm not seeing any wonderful moments coming during my long call soon..I just need some assurance that what I'm going through is gonna benefit me despite not being cut out for this profession

It's so complicated to deal with this kind of feeling..as if I never stumbled upon life's test :/ it's a novelty to me

I hope this shall pass soon,coz I know it definitely would...

Life as a future graduate

Hello..it's been a while since I have been writing in here.Almost a year already,I bet?
Wohooo for starter, wowww that's quite long..

Well to make things clear, I think that's not really an issue because when I first decided to re-indulge myself to the world of blogging,I did not promise myself to be a regular blogger--i write only when I feel like to.So, almost-a-year of hiatus is nothing to be made fuss about okay?hihi

As I'm writing this,I have just finished with one of my final paper for my final semester in uni (yeah you read that--final sem wehoooo).Strangely speaking, I am enjoying every bit of my final exam--although there still are unpleasant moments that I wish I could avoid asap-yeap the none other revision time,teheeee.I think this time around I feel happier, a lot happier studying or in other words learning new stuffs, albeit it's the dull and boring academic stuffs.why is that?? Well maybe because I have a changed vision towards the knowledge I gain--I begin to take my homework seriously where I would do it perfectly as much as I could. And that applies to the way i revise too.I used to be that 'taqlid' girl who only memorises stuffs without even bother (much) what the topic is really all about--while others actively making commentaries,identifying the weaknesses and etc.To put it simply,I have begun to have the interest analysing the stuffs I learn in class.

For the record, I am very grateful for my mind being opened to this small revolution.I used to be that 'bookish' type of girl who depends a lot on notes whenever I'm thrown with any legal questions or opinion.It's really not cool to be that kind of person--seriously.With this new attitude towards learning ,I hope that would do me a great favour when I start working soon.Of course I am opened to new and better changes if that's for the best.So far, this is one of  the things I think I could really rely on as a future graduate.

But i know, that is not all, as the real expectations we've always heard from those who have joined the work force is-skills.this 6-letter word is the most valuable thing any employer would run after in considering a new employee.I have always been an avid believer in this too.While knowledge makes you smart, it's the skills that take you far in life,realistically speaking.Well, we all know that.To be honest, I am still lacking with this--far from satisfactory,let alone perfect.Skills needed here is of course the so-called social skills, working etiquette--just to name a few.This is one of those things that worry me most for my working life later.

Despite all these, the good thing is--everything is so uncertain now,to say the least.I hope to see myself grow better in those skills one day since we all thrive on them!May He make this journey smooth and a bearable one for me to get through.I know there's more to life than all this--like kawin and all!lol heehehee but let's face it people--even choosing your life partner involves skills!

That's that I guess.

Dear diary,i dunno when will we meet again(seriously i have to make this clear to you haha) but till then, I hope this would suffice for now to at least update a lil bit bout myself.

Say happy graduating to me ;))

    The final-year selfie in the library 😅😁