reconcile

i gonna make this time's post as short as possible coz I'm too tired to think of a lengthy one bahaha..furthermore i'm at work place, which means it's gonna be a hassle if i wrote in lengthy (ni pun sebab bos xmasuk2 lagi!)


so,i just, reconciled with my ex....
i, actually am not really surprised yet not also forseeing this to happen too..*conflicting much*

to make it short,
he came back asking(not begging) if we could still make it.
this has actually been the 2nd time for him to ask...and i finally agreed..oh noo not immediately of course.
I took approximately 2 days to give it a thought..and finally i agree to give it a try..

so,,,the reason being???
-I still have feelings for him that I think I took into consideration what he said to me which was more or less something like this ; " I know we're going to be okay...I'm serious about this but still, we won't know what would happen in the future.....and the fact that you're good enough for me"

I didnt fall head over heels la for sure...I just gave it a thought and I think his words kind of make sense to me...

I've also considered the fact that he doesn't want to talk me everyday 24/7 coz through that, i'm not gonna be a clingy person,like I used to be...and being clingy is one of the main cause of our previous separation..and that made me feel kind of bad for myself too...

But no high hopes this time!Maybe if it's meant to be, Allah will make it easy for us,insyaALLAH..I've also had in mind that I don't want to get attached too much to him this time around ; no over-thinking, no 24/7 texting...even if he decided not to have a date or call me anymore pun, I'd accept,insyaAllah..

to some this may be one of the rarest kind of r/ship,but let it be.This is my 3rd time already with him,thus i shall be more careful and relaxed,but of course I'm serious

Another thing is. I hope he will not distract me much from my focus on  my future in becoming a future lawyer/any job i'd take,my resp. as a daughter and most importantly as a servant of Allah....critical attachment is a big NO this time, ameen...

Allah knows best and thus, I'd pray the best for both of us :)

of being great public speaker and presenter

“A good speech should be like a woman's skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” 
― Winston Churchill

“Students of public speaking continually ask, "How can I overcome
self-consciousness and the fear that paralyzes me before an
audience?"  

Did you ever notice in looking from a train window that some
horses feed near the track and never even pause to look up at the
thundering cars, while just ahead at the next railroad crossing a
farmer's wife will be nervously trying to quiet her scared horse as
the train goes by? How would you cure a horse that is afraid of cars—graze him in a
back-woods lot where he would never see steam-engines or
automobiles, or drive or pasture him where he would frequently see
the machines?

Apply horse-sense to ridding yourself of self-consciousness and
fear: face an audience as frequently as you can, and you will soon stop shying. You can never attain
freedom from stage-fright by reading a treatise. A book may give
you excellent suggestions on how best to conduct yourself in the
water, but sooner or later you must get wet, perhaps even strangle
and be "half scared to death." There are a great many "wetless"
bathing suits worn at the seashore, but no one ever learns to swim
in them. To plunge is the only way.” 
― Dale Carnegie, The Art of Public Speaking

Everyone I believe, loves it when their voices are heard and pondered upon,and this is much more fulfilling when you are speaking to a large group of people where you want your ideas to reach to them,especially for formal purposes.

And I too,am not excluded from that group .Being able to speak your ideas out has some kind of powerful force that could pull people to you.Well, the purpose is entirely yours ; mala fide or bona fide.Regardless of these two differing objectives, the end result contemplated is just the same : you desire for your voices and if possible, every tiny bit of what you said,is remembered.

I've been receiving formal education for more than 11 years and have started engaging myself with presentations, public speaking and the likes for years too.However, the seemingly long years of studying and exposing yourself with those things still do not guarantee that you'll come out as great speakers and for that very fact, I kind of feel upset with myself.

It is more intense since I am currently reading law in my tertiary education and the job scope I'll be acquainted with requires me to be good in both public speaking and presentation,which are inter-related;Advocates & Solicitors, Legal advisor,Human Resource officer are just to name a few.

So what's my point in addressing this topic though?wahahaha..of course for lamenting of my implausibility in the aforementioned skills...

Ok let's just get to the matter at hand.I find it bored too to just lamenting..so I'd like to enclose this article to give me some sort of ideas and ways to overcome my weaknesses....ok brace yourself, the article down there is on TED-the famously public speaking arena talked about for you to read and digest!

It doesn’t surprise me anymore that wherever I travel in the world, I hear about TED. TED talks are translated into 90 languages, which is more than the Harry Potter series. TEDx events have been held in 145 countries. Teachers across America are showing TED videos to students to help satisfy the new Common Core educational standards, which place a greater emphasis on public speaking and presentation skills.

After analyzing 500 of the best TED talks, interviewing speakers whose TED presentations have been viewed nearly 20 million times, and pouring over research by leading neuroscientists, I’ve reached the conclusion that the human brain is wired to love the TED style. People simply can’t get enough of TED talks because they are truly addictive.

The good news—having to raise your game to the TED-style is not a bad thing. In fact, adopting the techniques that have brought some TED speakers global acclaim will make it much more likely that you will persuade your audience to act on your ideas. I’ve identified 9 common elements to all TED talks and each of these are scientifically proven to increase the likelihood that your pitch or presentation will be successful, whether you’re pitching to one person or speaking to thousands.

1. Unleash the master within.Passion leads to mastery and mastery forms the foundation of an extraordinary presentation. You cannot inspire others unless you are inspired yourself. You stand a much greater chance of persuading and inspiring your listeners if you express an enthusiastic, passionate, and meaningful connection to your topic.
2. Tell three stories. Tell stories to reach people’s hearts and minds. Brain scans reveal that stories stimulate and engage the human brain, helping the speaker connect with the audience and making it much more likely that the audience will agree with the speaker’s point of view. Recently I wrote this columnabout Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Her original TED talk was going to be “chock full of facts and figures, and nothing personal.” Instead she told three stories and ignited a movement. Stories connect us. Tell more of them.
3. Practice relentlessly. Harvard brain researcher Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor had this “stroke of insight” that has been viewed 15 million times on TED.com. Dr. Jill rehearsed her presentation 200 times before she delivered it live. Practice relentlessly and internalize your content so that you can deliver the presentation as comfortably as having a conversation with a close friend.
4. Teach your audience something new. The human brain loves novelty. An unfamiliar, unusual, or unexpected element in a presentation jolts the audience out of their preconceived notions, and quickly gives them a new way of looking at the world. Robert Ballard is an explorer who discovered Titanic in 1985. He told me, “Your mission in any presentation is to inform, educate, and inspire. You can only inspire when you give people a new way of looking at the world in which they live.”
5. Deliver jaw-dropping moments. The jaw-dropping moment—scientists call it an ‘emotionally competent stimulus’— is anything in a presentation that elicits a strong emotional response such as joy, fear, shock, or surprise. It grabs the listener’s attention and is remembered long after the presentation is over. In this column on how Bill Gates radically transformed his public-speaking skills, I demonstrate how Gates learned to incorporate a jaw-dropping moment into many of his public presentations, including his now famous TED talks.
6. Use humor without telling a joke. Humor lowers defenses, making your audience more receptive to your message. It also makes you seem more likable, and people are more willing to do business with or support someone they like. The funny thing about humor is that you don’t need to tell a joke to get a laugh. Educator Sir Ken Robinson educated and amused his audience in the most popular TED talk of all time: How Schools Kill Creativity. Robinson makes humorous, often self-deprecating, observations about his chosen field, education. “If you’re at a dinner party and you say you work in education—actually, you’re not often at dinner parties, frankly, if you work in education…” Robinson makes very strong, provocative observations about nurturing creativity in children, and he packages the material around humorous anecdotes and asides that endear him to the audience. Lighten up. Don’t take yourself (or your topic) too seriously.
7. Stick to the 18-minute rule. A TED presentation can be no longer than 18 minutes. Eighteen minutes is the ideal length of time to get your point across. Researchers have discovered that “cognitive backlog,” too much information, prevents the successful transmission of ideas. TED curator Chris Anderson has been quoted as saying that 18 minutes is “long enough to be serious and short enough to hold people’s attention.”
8. Favor pictures over text. PowerPoint is not the enemy. Bullet points are. Some of the best TED presentations are designed in PowerPoint. Others use AppleAAPL -0.64% Keynote or Prezi. Regardless of the software, there are no bullet points on the slides of the best TED presentations. There are pictures, animations, and limited amounts of text—but no slides cluttered with line after line of bullet points. This technique is called “picture superiority.” It simply means we are much more likely to recall an idea when a picture complements it.
9. Stay in your lane. The most inspiring TED speakers are open, authentic, and, at times, vulnerable. Researcher Brené Brown even gave a TED talk on the topic of vulnerability and how her own research led to her personal journey to know herself. Opening up paid off for Brown in a big way. Oprah discovered Brown on TED, invited Brown to be on her show, and today Brown is a bestselling author and regular contributor to O, The Oprah Magazine.

Make no mistake. Your ability to persuasively sell your ideas is the single greatest skill that will help you achieve your dreams. Follow these nine rules and you’ll astonish, electrify, and inspire your audiences.

Carmine Gallo is a popular keynote speaker, internationally recognized communication coach, and author of the new book, Talk Like TED: The 9-Public Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds. Carmine Gallo is an independent, objective communication expert not affiliated with TED Conferences, LLC. Learn more at talkliketed.com.  For more articles and tips on communication, join my elist at carminegallo.com.

Love love love

Wow...such a 'strong' title to begin your catch ups with eh,khadijah?ehheee
Well,what's life without love right?and by love,I mean..yes2 the mainstream topic of love.....the male-female kinda love thing....*insert love emoticon*

This is supposed to be a sad-theme post but I dunno why I got all happy at the beginning of my post eh?haha....

Just like any other people who is broken-hearted,I was sad of course...like terribly sad that my love story didn't go as I wish...the agony of loss is just ahhh...indescribable.but time heals everything...really,and now I'm starting to be able to accept the fact that jodoh and anything pertaining to that is all in Allah's hand....as a mere weak servant,I have no power to control that...so alhamdulillah I've began to accept this qadar as part of Allah's greatest feature...subhanallah :')

So,what do I actually want to rant here,on my failed relationship?

Well,a few important things for my future reference one day...who knows I might want to revisit the days I've been broken,torn an shattered so that I may stand strong again as the saying goes experience is the best teacher? :) may this be useful one day...insyaAllah.ok let's start

1.find someone that will accept you for who you are
In relationship,things wont always be easy...so it's crucial to find someone who accepts the good and bad side of yours....yes,both!in my case,there are few disagreements between me and the guy that actually made things didn't work out...not a simple one I tell yah..it's the basic and fundamental feature of rship that made things went rough between us....thus...if u can't accept him for who he is and vice versa no matter how hard you try,let him go.That,itself may sound a bit hard.But come to think of it,if both of u cant even agree on the basic things,what makes u think you can go on with the more complex ones?:)

2.dont fall in love too quickly
Haha...this is a bit funny and strange coz sometimes we dont plan when to fall,dont we?but as funny as it sounds,if possible,dont do that...no matter how good a person may seem to u,it takes more than his good features to really know if he's the one...you need to know the other side of his too i.e.his bad sides..this is  important so as to balance both partie's weaknesses out...isnt relationship supposed to make both of u complement each other?so withhold your feelings first....it is afraid that if you fall in love too quickly,especially if you fell hard,you wont be able to reverse after knowing bout his dark sides..making u feel guilty and at the same time torn in between letting go and to stay.yes,thats the power of love,it justifies everything...but without us realising,it also drowns us to our own stupidity...which is not good,isn't it?

3.accept the fact that everything is in Allah's plan
Actually tbh,I'm not really advocating for dating before marriage...not totally coz my religion forbids it(hmmm.. I'm not that alim esp when it comes to this)but because I think both lovebirds are just wasting their time getting to know each other,UNLESS you guys are already on your way of getting married where preparations are already underway...and this is much more relevant when you guys have declared yourselves as an item since highschool...or at any moment where both of you are still not committed to marriage,yet....

In my case however,it was really an unplanned one...after my first rship failed,I never thought of having a replacement...I was being single for almost 2-3 years! So how did i get hooked to him?actually we started as mere friends...but after sometimes, the feelings developed..yea it was entirely my mistake though..I shouldnt be entertaining him to that extent....but he was so nice as a guy and a friend at the beginning that it made me think that we wont go that far....emmmm..so much for a trick of shaytan and nafs eh?

But how great Allah plan is...I guess Allah loves me....loves me more than anyone else does..including the guy..haha..so it turned out after 1 year of rship,it didnt work....it's hard to swallow the truth...I've never been through such a hard time letting someone go from my life.He finally decided to break up with me..on the basis that he's not ready to be in a serious rship where he needs to commit...yes,after one year being together,he made that sudden,unexpected decision.it was a painful truth for me and I have to admit that I really love the guy and our rship...but later it made me realize that relationship is just as superficial as anything that is tempting in this world...you'd never feel suffice and that's where the pain lies.there's no such thing as this drama-exemplified kind of love...even if it does,it will hurt you even if it does,it will hurt you,eventually.

Interestingly,after breaking up,there were attempts to reconcile..initiated by him,twice(haa kau 2 kali).....but to no avail...hmmm.for the second attempt,it only survived til nego process..haha...coz I just didnt feel that we would work out :(

After the final attempt failed too,It was realllyyyyy harddddd to move on
I tell yah just as hard as my first time breaking up with him..I tried many things....including the ultimate way;du'a..but it didn't really work for me though...and I began to get worried if I'd end up not be able to move on even after yearsss ;(((((

But little that I know....Allah really3  indeed loves me.....as being said in the quran..your Lord has never forsaken you :')I began to rethink on how i actually made the du'a..ahh,so ashamed with myself for i didnt do it sincerely and for not really putting my whole trust in Allah :'(from that moment nd I began to take my Du'a seriously....I also came across one islamic article on this...written in a fiction manner where a guy said to his heartbroken friend that "all this while,while holding on to the past memories of you and the girl,you have actually poisoned your heart with this dunya,do u realise that?come,let's return to Allah...it's pointless holding on to things that Allah despises"

Inspired by that story,I regained my strength..subhanallah..I found the cure to my ill heart-I've been drawing myself further from my creator without realising that I have actually poisoned,wrecked and damaged my heart with my own hands...it's my fault...all along it's my own fault....ahhh what have I been!

Since that moment,I started to reflect on what have I been feeding my heart and mind with...astaghfirullah..I'm so ashamed to even think of it...

But what happened in the past stays in the past..u cant undo the damage you have done...you can only pray hard so that Allah would forgive your past sins.I'm beyond glad that Allah has finally opened my heart to repent and what makes it more special is it happens during ramadhan :')

As of now,the only thing I hope is,Allah will make me among the steadfast....this failed rship has became one of the pushing factors for me to change and to make a hijrah of myself....but of course my focus is not because to move on solely,instead ultimately because I want to please Allah....

I'm still in the beginning process though.I'd like to learn from a murabbi...to keep a good company since this may not be easy especially when you just get started.But I must say the happiness that I'm feeling now is just beyond words to describe...there's an indescribable feeling you'd get when you unattach your heart from thedunya...subhanallah....

I also hope the guy wont come back for me coz it hurts to know someone is still giving you hope where at the same time,you don't even know if he is serious about it or not.well I'm not being hateful or whatnot....yes if there's jodoh,siapa lah saya nk tolak kan..I dont wanna boast off nor being so over-confident..but neither I'm putting a high hope too.The only thing I'm praying and looking forward to now is that the right guy would come at the right moment and must possess the same goal in life with me ; to please Allah...to help each other to be close to Him..ameen

Nevertheless,after what had happened,I pray that i and him would be granted with happiness,albeit not being together..Allah surely knows best,isn't it?:')

So emmm....that's basically what happened to me recently...I've written so lengthy already...phewww...hehe....so yeah..I guess thats all for today..

Happy Ramadhan Khadijah!:')

My first hi in 2014!hehe

Wehhh lama tak datang sini...haha...
I think this is my first 2014 post ever....*round of applause* *strumming guitar string* *drum rolls* (amboi jah byk beno mukadimah)

Okok..let's get straight to the post.
So what actually made u turn up after yearss(hiperbola la skit),landlord??

Emmmm...hehehe

Well,it's for the very sole reason of this:I miss writing so much...like so mucho mucho much..

I think I've had a seriyes prob of not being able to come up with a creative writing piece despite the fact that I am a law student(ada kaitan kerrr..) ehehehe yeah sort of la!I read a lot..n write a lot too..but then I suck at creative writing...so that's kind of a waste laa..coz supposedly you must be getting better at it..plus with the fact that u are a uni student already..you know you sorta need to get the hang of writing impeccably...yeah!

So emm.basically,I come back for the sole purpose(for the time being) of improving my writing skills...altho I intend to make my blog private,but yeah at least I could pour something out..here...since I'm no good with my handwriting..like eww buruk kotzz(read;malas tulis tgn..ehhe...)Yes,I know for a fact that to make u better at anything,get someone to supervise you...but emm..later la wahahaha...

So emmm I actually have lotsa things to tell...yela elok la lama sgt kot hilang mehehehe...but let's do one by one and slowly wokies?dun rush into anything hehehe....

So yeah...for a fresh start..I mean for the year of 2014,this is it!kita story mory later la nohh?wehooo....toodles!