emm

hello blog.sorry coz this time around,i'm gonna name the title emm,a very vague one, simply cuz i dunno what to entitle this post.T_T

truth is i have a lot to say this time.But I think it's not proper to mix this post up.let's go just by one thing at one time first,shall we?

so emm lately i've been thinking a lot about myself, particularly about my future.
I'm not sure if I take things seriously to the extent that it's too much or I'm doing it in a moderate way.
Thinking about your future is significant,really.Yeah,there are some lucky heads out there that don't really do that but they still come out as a successful human being, happy and what else?-.- unfair enough?hmm.

Ok let's cut to the chase.
When talking about future,it is closely associated what you're doing in the future.
For some people who really make most of their present for their future life,yes.
They have known what they want and for that,they have prepared everything in their present.

So the thing is,I'm not sure what I really want in the future.
Truth be told, I'd really love to be a solicitor one day or maybe a prosecutor(errr).
But I find myself just not up to the standard of becoming either one!
People may say "Alaaa you can do it,just trust yourself.." Ive always heard that that I feel like punching them in their face.How could they say that when they barely know about my results and my ability blablabla?
Sometimes I hate the fact that people always think I'm a great kind of person because of who was I in the past-A head girl in my school.

How could my past say a lot about my future and present?weirdddd!

Don't they notice how much have I changed since then?I mean at least just right after I pursue my degree.grrr..

I'm not upset for what they think about me.Maybe they do so as a way to motivate me-Don't lose hope blabla..

But it's kind of hurt when they say so while you know it's not really gonna happen.
;(

Thinking positively is the key to live and keep up with all the pressures and problems life has given to you.
But at the same time,you gotta face the reality.Things would never sound easy peasy lemon squeezy for all the time.They knock you down too at times.I'm being real okayy.

I don't want to take things easily coz it's about my future.Besides that,I'm an adult soon.I have to start carrying responsibility of living life on my own soon.So this is really a big deal for me,no joke.


So if I'm never gonna be a solicitor one day,what am I gonna do then? :(
Those laws knowledges I've gained are way too precious for me,so it's a sad thing to let them go for other jobs,unless I'd do that after years of being part of the legal fraternity.

My aim is (part of them) : To be as successful as I see myself years ago.
                                        To not feel inferior with who I am and what I do.


Ok.i've lost words to say.byee